OK, I'm gloomy, I mean, REALLY gloomy. I don't know why really, but I've been crying and feeling like I used to feel when I had depression.

I know what you'd tell me - is the hormones fault - and that I can read about it in every specilized magazine I can put my hands on, and that I was told the same by every women I know that has been already a mom.

But guess what? All this feelings, all this fragility and vulnerability that I wished never to experience again, is not something you understand in the beggining, oh no, you have to live the moment to do it. And for me, sucks. I'm telling you, all the things I'm feeling... I cannot control them, I can't take them in my hands and do all my magic tricks to ease them... Crazy, ah?

And something else has come that I almost vowed I would never feel again with my sisters: being afraid to be hurt. I know that is not for me, is for someone else that I love with all my being, but it is being afraid all over again. And now that my elder sister is coming to live with us again, I don't know what's going to happen. I can hear the tic-tac of the time bomb.

I know that most of my friends won't read this, but I need to say it: please, take care of me. I may not seem like it, but I'm really sensitive and all I do is to cover this fact up. I don't like it, to say the truth, but I need you all. And when I say this, I mean ALL of you.

C-ya!